The Wounded Healer
The Wounded Healer
The Wounded Healer
The book The Wounded Healer focuses on the spiritual welfare of an individual on the path to ministry. In the book, Nouwen (1972) offers the reader several perspectives concerning the process of pain, healing, growing, and the relationship with the person to other people as well as their environment. The “wounded healer” offers a reader a chance to view pain and tragedy as more of a necessary path to a more fulfilling life rather than an anchor that holds people back from exploring their identity. The book consists of four chapters each covering different angles that allow people to have a newfound perspective on life about their personal challenges. It allows people to appreciate the importance and purpose of life, part of which is to connect more deeply with others rather than simply on a superficial level. The purpose of connecting with others is so that they can experience healing through personal experiences.
Reflection of the Chapters
In the first chapter, Nolan talks about the ability to establish a ministry in a dislocated world. He describes a nuclear man, who is searching for a sense of immortality to experience life in a more expansive dynamic. For this man, a fragmented or distorted reality makes him seek something more powerful than him, to overcome his challenges. As such, he needs to choose between mystical, revolutionary, and Christian restoration and liberation. He selects the Christian way, which is devoted to including Christ as the center of the restoration process (Herbert, Marziller & Wetmore, 2013). The nuclear man describes the restoration process as a reconnection with Christ. Through reconnection, we are able to imitate him in his likeness. We are able to acknowledge our imperfections as part of us rather than an entity that seeks to destroy our identity. We are able to understand that imitation of Christ as not necessarily copying him in the ways through which he lived and related to others, but rather adopting his doctrines of living an authentic and singular life that shapes our unique identities as human beings.
In the second chapter, the author talks about ministering for a rootless generation, whose foundation is possibly weaker than the preceding generation because of lack of sufficient guidance from caregivers as they were growing up. This then requires ministers to tap deeper into people’s appeals to communicate with them in a meaningful way. Through ministering to such a generation, we are able to open doors that were closed regarding their spiritual connection to Christ himself. Nouwen encourages readers to engage with people and develop a sense of compassion, empathy and respect for other people’s feelings and experience; in the same way, we expect others to be empathetic to our own. The issue of compassion is especially emphasized as a crucial tool that allows people to connect on a deeper level. Through expressing compassion towards others, we are able to understand their situations. Although the feelings may not be identical, we will be able to understand why their actions (or lack thereof) of others given any situation. The issue of articulation of oneself is also described as a process necessary to open doors to connect with the Holy Spirit. The process of expression is seen as a stepping-stone towards the liberation of one’s challenges within a spiritual context. It is seen as removing the obstacles that prevent them from connecting with Christ.
In the third chapter, Nouwen covers the process of ministering to hopeless men and women through taking us through a story of a farmer and a student of theology. In this story, a farmer is lonely, filled with despair and is lying in a hospital bed after surgery. The student of theology visits him and tries to provide comfort, but eventually, the farmer dies after an operation. The student is then left with the question of whether he could have done more for the man in terms of providing him with comfort, regardless of whether he was going to survive or pass on. It then provokes the thoughts of what hope means to a man with despair. Sometimes agony can send people to despair rather than build them depending on whether there exists a support system in their lives. In addition to this, the mindset that one adopts through this process of suffering could make the difference between getting through it with success and never being able to recover from it. From a Christian perspective, Nouwen describes the process of pain and suffering as going through it rather than circumnavigating it. “The way out is the way in. only through entering into communion with human suffering can relief is found” (Nouwen, 1972). The author emphasizes the idea of embracing pain as part of getting rid of the old self to give room for a new self. Pain is part of what builds a person’s character, attitudes, and identity as a whole. As such, the intertwining of suffering with oneself is seen as the only path to true freedom.
In the fourth chapter, the author does a self-reflection through the issues of loneliness on his path to liberation. Often challenges my present themselves in personal and professional lives when trying to help others achieve the healing they require (Herbert, Marziller & Wetmore, 2013). This may lead to loneliness, in which a person possesses a deep concern and desire to help others, but is physically unable to help them. Loneliness is a result of psychological isolation, in which an individual will feel as though they are suffering alone. However, Nouwen maintains that the process of loneliness is necessary to shape someone into becoming a more efficient healer to others. Loneliness also gives people an opportunity to spend time with them and dive into the inner being. Loneliness is a process of getting to know oneself more, thus learning how to use the pain and suffering to minister to others. Through this, people will be able to harness, control the process of pain, and receive the transformation that is required. It helps us to learn that pain, rather than a perpetual and relentless entity of our lives, is a transient chapter that will soon happen.
Application to Counseling and Personal life
On reflection of the book, I was able to learn that vulnerability is a natural part of the human characteristics, and must thus be embraced as part of the human experience rather than cast aside. I have been able to view pain, tragedy, and challenges as part of the whole human experience, rather than focusing on ‘light at the end of the tunnel.’ This is because often when we focus too much on having the pain passing; we might miss what these challenges are trying to teach us. I was also able to learn that God uses us as instruments of ministry to others not only after we have experienced the pain, but also from the beginning and through it in its entirety. I was also able to learn that this form of vulnerability was not only necessary for growth, but could be used by God as a form of ministry to others, who would then receive healing from others. Nouwen (1972) states that two people would not have the same experiences, even if they were in the same situations. This made me realize that we as human beings can be able to minister to one another in a profound way by simply sharing our experiences (Cowan, 2008). Through the sentiments of the author, I was able to realize that pain is not only necessary to one’s life but an inevitable event, which should be harnessed into positive energy designed to steer us in a direction of transformation. I treat pain, hardships, and challenges as a ‘death’ of my former self and a ‘birth’ of my new self who is more in tune with the reality of the people and things around me. Pain is a tool that shapes our identity as human beings, and this is why no two people will have the same identity because none shares the same experiences. Through the book, I was able to develop a once untapped sense of empathy for others, which I believe will enable me to become better at decoding and helping others embrace and navigate through their challenges as individuals.
Cowan, P. (2008). Living Well With Pain. The Clinical Journal of Pain, 24(9), 832. http://dx.doi.org/10.1097/ajp.0b013e31818447e4
Herbert, C., Marziller, J., & Wetmore, A. (2013). The Complete Guide to Overcoming Traumatic Stress. New York: Constable & Robinson.
Nouwen. H.J. (2014). The wounded Healer. London: UK. Darton, Longman & Todd Limited
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